Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Late as usual! :)

Ok, so I'm a little late blogging about Spring Break. I don't really have any excuses other than the fact that Brice has been working non-stop the last couple of days on a paper and I haven't been able to use the computer at all (not a very good one I know!).

Anyway, we had a WONDERFUL time on our cruise!! We left Friday after school and drove to Dallas and spent the night with Brice's college roommate, Kevin. We had a really good time catching up with him and hanging out at his sweet new pad (Austin Ranch Apartments in Plano). We don't get to see him that often, but anytime we're around him it's like we hang out every weekend. I know Brice really misses his friendship! Anyway, we got up very early Saturday morning and drove to Houston to board the Norwegian Dream. The boat was a lot smaller than the one we went on last time, but it was still great. And the food was MUCH better so that made up for anything it was lacking! :) The weather wasn't very cooperative on our sailing days (VERY windy), but the days we were in port were beautiful. Monday we were in Progresso, which was probably our least favorite port. We went to the public beach there and hung out for a little while and then ate at a really good Mexican restaurant. Tuesday we were in Cozumel, which was once again our very favorite port! We went to a private beach called Nachi Cocum and had the best time!! They only allow a maximum of 100 per day, and I would say there were maybe 30 people there the whole day. They had wonderful food, great drinks, a fresh water pool and hot tub, and plenty of sunshine. Wednesday we were in Belize. We decided to go back to Banister Island, which is a beautiful little island that has white sand and turquoise water. Last year we were practically the only ones on the beach, however I guess the cruise lines found out about this great little place because it was PACKED!! We couldn't even find a chair when we first got there. But we still had a great time and enjoyed a nice little rain shower that cooled everyone off. Oh yeah, and we got to see some Manatees on our way back, which was so cool!! Thursday and Friday were sailing days. Brice and I decided to be lazy these two days; we slept in, ate, read and ate some more! I was able to read three books while we were gone...it was wonderful! (I'm reading the Redemption series by Karen Kingsbury which I will have to blog about sometime!)

Traveling alone was a lot different than what we're used to. Not only did we miss our traveling partners' companionship...we also missed our personal photographers! :) All of the pictures of Brice and I are self portraits, so excuse the long arm in most of them or the ones that are definitely not centered!

*** And of course blogger isn't letting me upload pictures right now...check back later for a picture blog!***

A post Spring Break update:

I guess God knew that we needed a long relaxing vacation to prepare us for the news we found out upon our return. First of all, the day we got home we found out that our first round of IUI was unsuccessful. I pretty much had an idea the last couple of days of the trip, but I think I was in denial. We were both pretty confident going into it that it would work on the first round, considering I had already gotten pregnant twice on clomid alone. Anyhow, it didn't work. I was pretty heartbroken, but I just kept telling myself that we would start the whole process again the following week.

Monday I called my dr's office to let them know that I didn't need to come in for a blood test (to see if I was pregnant) that in fact I needed to come in for an ultrasound so we could start the cycle over. The nurse called me right back and said that Dr. Phy actually wanted to meet with us to discuss our options. I thought it was kind of strange that she wanted to meet with us considering our original plan was to try this protocol for three months and then if it didn't work we would look at other options. So we went in that Monday afternoon to meet with Dr. Phy. Nothing could have prepared me for the news we were about to find out. The day after my IUI she received my genetics test results back and they indicated that I have a genetic abnormality on my 13th chromosome. She immediately contacted a geneticist to see if it would be ok to wait to tell me until after we found out if the IUI took. They told her it would be ok to wait because there were some additional tests they could run to give them more details. The week we were on vacation she ran the additional test and it was conclusive with the other test stating that I have a paracentric inversion on my 13th chromosome.

Brice and I were pretty much in shock at this point. She went on to tell us that this was most likely the cause of our 2 miscarriages and that we have a 50% chance of miscarriage in the future, and that there were increased risks of birth defects and abnormalities. She said that we still can conceive and have a perfectly normal pregnancy, but that it just depends on the egg that is fertilized. As far as getting pregnant we basically have 3 options. We can continue with the same thing we did last month and just hope that the egg that is released doesn't have the defect. We can do IVF and do a pre-implantation screening to ensure that they implant a "good" egg. Or we can use an egg donor and do IVF. My first thought was that I would do anything to not have to go through another miscarriage, but the 2nd two options are both extremely expensive ($14,000-$18,000). So it's not really a decision we can make lightly.

We have the name and number of a genetics counselor that will be able to give us more accurate statistics and information, but I haven't called them yet. I'm not sure if I'm just putting it off because I'm scared of what we might find out (sometimes ignorance is bliss) or what my deal is. We definitely need to do that sometime this week though. It's strange, I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. At first I had this really strong sense of peace, that somehow our relationships with God were going to be strengthened so much through all of this and that He has a plan in all of this, but I think the reality of it all is kind of setting in. This isn't something that is just going to magically disappear...it's something that we will have to deal with for the rest of my life! Part of me wants to cry out in anger to God that how in the world can He allow un-wed teenagers to become parents when there are so many married couple that so desperately want children. But I know that that won't really do any good except make things more depressing. And I know that I'm definitely not the only person in the world that has has these same thoughts. I just have to keep reminding myself of the verse in Jeremiah 29 "For I know the plans I have for you." I know that God is in control and that something good will come of it. Another verse that has been really comforting to me is in Lamentations "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.'"

Ok, now that I have written a novel and there's probably no one that is even still reading this post, I will leave you on a happier note...only 7 1/2 more weeks of school!!! :)

11 comments:

Dustin and Allyson Wall said...

I'm so glad ya'll had a good time on the cruise!! I can't wait to see pictures.

Girl, I have been wanting to email you lately. I've been so unsure of what to say and how to say it! That is NO EXCUSE. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. Just know that you're in my prayers and I love you!!

Ashley said...

I am so glad you had a good time on the cruise. I still want to see pictures soon! :)

I love you and I am praying for you...for wisdom, peace, comfort, direction, faith, and hope. Thank you for sharing that news. I know it must be tough.

The end of school is in sight!!!!

Jennifer K said...

Thanks for sharing your heart and your emotions. My love and prayers...

Amy B. said...

Kristin,
Your faith in His promises is always an example to me. It's more than I was ever able to muster when we were struggling. I know I don't understand exactly what you're going through but I'm still here and will share your anger and sadness as well as your hope and joy. I'm always praying for you!

Sara Curry said...

Kristin, I just want you to know that I have been praying for you. I know how bad you want children and it breaks my heart to hear about you going through all of this. Everything will work out. I know saying and doing are two different things but I agree with the verse that you stated at the end of your blog. Just keep your head up as you have always done no matter the circumstances. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you!

The Stanford Family said...

I can't wait to see the pictures of your cruise!!!

I have been wanting to ask you how everything was going and I am glad that you put it into words. I just want you to know that I pray for you and our little kindergarten team. I know that no words can probably be of comfort to you but I hope that you keep us updated. You are in my prayers!!!

Love,
Stephanie

April Carrasco said...

We would have much rather been taking pictures of you guys than sitting on land :)!!! We hated to miss the trip.

You know I love you and pray for you daily. I am so glad you shared this becaue more people can pray and hopefully that will bring you more comfort.

melissa deaver said...

Your faith inspires me, and the beauty of your heart astounds me! My prayers are with you. . .

Kelli said...

Bless your heart. You are both in our hearts and prayers. We are thinking of you.

denae said...

Yay! I'm so glad you updated your blog even though there are NO pictures. :(

The self portrait thing is a dilemma. On our vacations, I make sure to ask at least one stranger a day to take our picture. Chris won't ask...but I don't mind. I make myself feel better about it by telling myself that even though I've asked a million strangers to take our picture, it is only the first time I've asked that particular stranger. And I try to look for people that also have a camera in hand, that way I can offer to take their picture if they'll take ours. I know I've thought this out way too much. haha.

Anonymous said...

I have a l3th chromosome break and I have 3 healthy children. I too had trouble with my pregnancies. They tested my mother after they discovered my l3th chromosome break. They didn't know what it meant, but they knew if my mother had it (and she, obviously, successfully had children) that the break was not the cause of my problems. This all occurred in l980. My heart and prayers go out to you. Just keep trying and praying. Virginia